Before The Strike
by Rochwen-loves-Dutchy
Summary: Even the most little known characters have pasts. What happened to Dutchy before he became the coolest dancer ever? Before he could spell strike? Before everything? still not a very good summary...formally newsies origins:Dutchy but i didnt like it
1. Chapter 1

ok, so newsiegoil1899 tells me that a bunch of people are doing backgrounds for the newsies and asked me if id like to do one. is this a question one seriously has to think about? of course! who? DUTCHY! so yes, this is my version of dutchy's past. all the chapters are from his point of view, in this first one he's 9. and his name is Ivan, cause i couldnt think of anything else

* * *

"Hey, wake up, would ya? Gran's bout ready to throw a fit."

"Why? Wha'd I do to her?"

"You _didn't _do your chores. Now get up before she goes and ships you over seas." He pulled my pillow out from under my head, dropped it on the floor, and left.

"Alright already!" Since my grandmother moved in with us, I was slowly becoming more of a morning person, quite against my will. She came to America this spring from somewhere over in Europe. Holland, or Africa, or something like that, I didn't pay much attention. She was my father's mother. My mother was from Ukraine. They met at some school or something and came to America. Gran hadn't approved of their marriage then and was just starting to now. To show my father that she still had some control over his life, she had somehow taken over our household-without knowing a word of English. She didn't know any and didn't care to learn either. It was really only my mother and me that couldn't understand her. My father had grown up speaking whatever it was, and Ilya had been deemed worthy of being taught by her. She treated my 13 year old brother like he was her pet.

"Ivan! I thought you were getting up!" Ilya had just come back into the room we shared to find me sitting on my bed, dangling my feet over the edge.

"I am, go away." I was normally a pretty polite kid, but it was early.

"Well hurry up." He went back out to the kitchen. I changed into a pair of grey pants and an olive green shirt. When I walked into the kitchen, Gran turned to face me, placed her hands on her hips, and went off yelling in the language I was pretty sure might have been Dutch. Ilya started to translate, but I turned before he could say much. I knew what she was saying, it was the same thing she said every day. "Tuck in the shirt, put the suspenders up, put on the vest, brush the hair. Honestly child, who taught you to dress?" I sulked back to my room, tucking in my shirt. I snapped my suspenders onto my shoulders. I preferred to let them hang down, I just liked the way they looked like that. I put on the grey vest that hung on my bed post. I had started to become a habit to put it on as soon as I got up. I actually had it in my hand some mornings before remembering that it was one of my few ways to defy Gran. I grabbed my brush and watched the mirror-me brush his hair. Gran was so proud of her biggest accomplishment in running my life. My hair. When she arrived, it had been just like Ilya's, nice and short. Five months later, his was still short thanks to regular hair cuts. I, on the other hand, Gran thought looked just like my father and should therefore have hair just like he had when he was nine. Nice blonde hair that ended right below my ears, like all the nice boys in Holland, or Denmark, or Egypt, or wherever she was from. I re-entered the kitchen and immediately a squirrel was shoved into my hands. I just stared at her. Where had my grandmother gotten a squirrel?

"What do I do with it?"

"Just get rid of it before she has a heart attack!" So I was shooed out the door with a tiny squirrel in my hands. Because my parents were immigrants, they had taken the only house they could get. I use the term "house" lightly, but I suppose it was better than what some people had. We lived in an apartment type building. There was an official name for it that started with a T, but I could never remember it. I wasn't crazy about it, but we could see the Brooklyn Bridge from our windows and most of our neighbors were nice. The one I was going to see now lived one floor down in number 24. His name was Mr. Kolenkhov, but I usually didn't say the "mister" part. He was Russian and had a neat accent. I knocked on his door.

"Good morning Ivan." He opened the door and stepped aside so I could enter. After he closed the door, I held up the squirrel. "Vat ees dis?"

"A squirrel. It must have crawled in the window to get out of the rain." He sat down at the kitchen table, leaning his cane against his chair, and gently took the squirrel from my hands. I sat down in the chair across from him. He'd put a pillow on this chair so that I didn't feel so little when I sat there and talked to him. Kolenkhov used to teach ballet before he came to America, but now he was too old. He also broke his right leg and it never healed right, that's why he had the cane. He didn't have very many friends, but he had me. I liked most old people, just not Gran. Gran treated me like I was a kid, which actually I was, but Kolenkhov didn't. He talked to me like I was a grown-up and actually listened when I said stuff

"So, vy do you bring 'im to me?" Kolenkhov asked, petting the squirrel's head.

"I don't know. I was supposed to get rid of him, but I didn't want to put him outside." It was raining a whole lot that day. "So I thought maybe you could hold on to him, at least till it's sunny again."

"Alright, I vill. Now, you'd better get back before your Gran gets mad. I don't vant her coming after me!" I scooted off my chair and left. As I closed the door, I heard him talking to the squirrel and got the feeling he wasn't going to get rid of it when the sun came out. As I walked into our apartment, Gran and Ilya were walking out, probably to go shopping. For some reason, Gran liked to go shopping when it was raining, and Ilya had to go with her to translate. Sometimes I was glad she didn't like me. I saw that although my chores had been taken care of, there were still some things for me to do. There were dishes in the sink from breakfast. I grabbed a roll and considered washing them while I ate. Sitting on the table was the number 3 from our door that had fallen again. I decided to fix that first in case somebody came looking for number 36. I pulled off some of the sticky stuff that held one of our table legs in place and spread it on the back of the 3. Then I went outside and placed it bak in front of the 6. It was a bit crooked, but in looked alright. I went back in and started on the dishes. While I washed, I watched the rain out the window. I really liked the rain. I hoped it would start to thunder and lightning. Most kids my age were scared of storms, but I had always liked them. In the evening, when my parents got home, we would sit in the kitchen and watch the lightning. I'd been to the theater, but I always liked our kitchen window better than the brightly lit stages. I heard the front door open, but I kept washing, figuring it was just Gran and Ilya.

"Where is everybody?" I ran to the door without rinsing the soap suds from my hands.

"Popi!" He caught me and lifted me. "How did you get home so early?" He normally wasn't home until dinner time.

"Bussiness was very slow, so they let us leave." I noticed he sounded sort of strange when he said it, like he was thinking about it a whole lot. He put me down and took off his coat that was soaking wet and had soap bubbles on the back. "So where is your crazy Gran? Did she take Ilya shopping again?" I nodded. "He's going to get sick if she keeps taking him out in the rain. So, what have you done today?"

"I gave Mr. Kolenkhov a squirrel." I said mister when I was talking to grown ups. Popi raised his eye brows, but just nodded. "Did you get a newspaper from Spud today?" Spud was a newsie. He was 15 and I don't think he liked me very much, but I met him in front of our building every day and he played cards with me. In return, I made sure Popi always bought a paper from him.

"Of course." He placed the paper on the table and sat down. I sat next to him and started to read the headlines.I did this every day, it's how I learned to read. "Do you two still play cards in th rain?"

"Sometimes. But sometimes it takes him longer to sell, cause there aren't as many people on the streets." Popi worried about the newsies a lot. Even though he didn't make that much money, he always came home with a paper, sometimes three or four. "He says ina couple years he won't be a newsie any more. He'll get a real job."

"The book store is always looking for more people if they can read well." The book store was right next to the repair shop where Popi worked. Spud was real good at reading. Popi wasn't. He could read anough to know what he had to, but that was it. He only bought the paper for me. "You have a deck of cards, don't you?" he asked after a little while. I nodded, then pushed back the hair that fell into my eyes. "Why don't you go get them and teach me some games?" I ran into my room and grabbed the cards I had bought with the little bit of money I had saved from doing odd jobs around the building. That's right, I bought them with my own moeny. I sat back down at the table and shuffled them.

"What should I teach you?"

"Whatever's easiest," he laughed. We had already played Go Fish and were halfway through Kings in the Corners when Gran and Ilya came back. the four of us played until 1:30. That was the only time I knew on the clock, because that's when I always met Spud. I ran down the stairs and opened the door to the building. The rain had let up a little. I saw Spud walking down the street towards meand ran to meet him.

"Are you still going to play cards with me today?"

"Did yer pop still buy one o' me papes?" I nodded and he smiled. "Den a course I'll still play cards with yeh." He had a really cool accent. New York and Irish, cause he was very Irish but had lived all his life talking to people from New York. "Cept where's we gonna play? Street's all wet."

"We can sit on the stairs inside, nobody's goin' up or down much today." He nodded and we set up our game halfway to the second floor. Today we played Blackjack. You were supposed to bet money, but we didn't. I didn't have any and Spud needed his for papers. It was fun, but it took a little while cause you're supposed to get 21 and I had to add on my fingers. We were on our third hand when my mother came up the stairs. She sold flowers in the mornings and came home in the afternoon. Spud took off his grey hat when he saw her, revealing curly red hair. If I had a hat, I'd've taken it off too. I really liked the newsies' hats.

"Afternoon ma'am."

"Hello Spud. Ivan, I don't want you to stay out here too long, it's drafty and I don't want you to get sick."

"Yes Mama." She smiled and continued up the stairs, stepping over our card game. Spud replaced his hat and we played a few more hands.

"Alright, I gotta go get da aftanoon edition. I'll see ya tomorrow," he said, gathering up his cards, "carryin da bannah."

"Carryin da bannah." That's how the newsies said good bye and it simply made my day when he said it to me. He tucked his cards in his pocket and headed out into the rian, while I went up to the third floor. I knew something was wrong when I saw Ilya sitting in the hallway. I sat down next to him. "What happened?"

"I dunno. As soon as Mama came in, Popi put down his cards and asked me the go out for a second." Whenever Mama and Popi had to talk about something serious, they asked Ilya and me to wait in the hallway. Then we'd come back in and they'd explain what they were talking about. "I hope there's a storm tonight."

"Me too." Me and Ilya weren't that close, and we didn't talk very much. What gave us the connection was simple stuff like this; sitting in the hallway and hoping for a thunderstorm. We sat there in silence for a long time. The sun was sinking and it was getting dark when Popi opened the door. We walked in and sat down at the kitchen table. Mama was holding a handkerchief and looked like she might have been crying.

"Boys, I lost my job today." I gasped. That's why he was home so early. "My eye sight is going and I can't see the small parts anymore, so I'm just not useful enough to keep around. I'm going to look for a new job, but until I find one, Mama's going to have to work more and you two might need to find jobs too." We didn't know how to react. After a moment of complete silence, Mama gave a sniffle and Ilya went and sat beside her. Gran was saying something in Jibberish from the other room, apparently she'd been told already. Popi turned and just stared out the window. He felt like he'd let us down. I walked over to him and hugged him.

"We'll make everything work, right Popi?" He placed a hand on my head and ruffled my hair.

"Of course we will." Outside there was a flash of light and a low rumble of thunder. "Sounds like we're going to have a good storm tonight." He lifted me and a rested my head on his shoulder. We just stood there and watched the rain fall and the lightning dance.


	2. Chapter 2

alright, movin right along. i dunno when dutchy's birthday is, but he turned 10 some time, so yeah. seekin some more feedback here, let me know what you think. ive got a basic plot, but im open to suggestions.

* * *

Popi lost his job six months ago. Since then a lot has happened. Gran discovered that she had other relatives and moved to live with them. I don't think any of us were terribly upset to see her go. Popi's been looking for a job, but hasn't found one yet. Mama started working more and Ilya became a newsie, just for the morning edition though. Mama didn't like the idea of him working, even though he was definately old enough. I had turned 10, but the only thing she would let me do to help was odd jobs for people in the building. However, sometimes I snuck out and helped Spud sell papers. I was spending more time with him and starting to look at him like an older brother. One that I had never really seen in Ilya because we didn't really get along. I now woke up with the sun every morning, and somehow found that I had energy when I did so. As soon as there was light in our room, I got up and-having surrendered to Gran's will now that she was gone-put on the grey vest. It was just a simlpe thing, but it gave my life at least that one predictable thing. On this particular day it was over a white shirt with brown stripes. I put on my grey pants, very happy to let the suspenders hang down. If I had a hat, I'd've looked like a newsie. Except for maybe my hair. Before Gran left, she made me promise the keep it long. I agreed, only because it made things feel normal, and I liked that. Ilya was already gone when I got up, so I grabbed a piece of bread and headed out to sweep the stairs. When I got to the bottom, I heard something in the street and looked out to see what was happening. There was a huge mob of men fighting. No, not just men. I pushed my gold-rimmed glasses up a little and moved closer. There were newsies in the fight too. A few small crowds were gathered to watch, and I spotted Spud among them. It was strange, normally the newsies would cheer or boo or place bets on fights, but they all seemed strange now. They seemed scared. Spud looked worried when I appeared at his side. 

"I think yeh should go back inside kid."

"No, I finished the stairs. What's going on?" He glanced at the fight and back at me.

"A couple a da newsies stole somethin an da guy got real mad 'bout it. Called over a bunch o' his buddies." He grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me out of the way of someone who was pushed towards me. "Listen Ivan, yer pop was walkin' by an saw Freeze and dem gettin messed up. Him an some otha fellas jumped in ta help." I stared at him. Popi? In a fight? We stood there and watched until finally, there came the sound of whistles and hoofbeats. The mob disapeared, except for a few people that lay still in the street. People who had fallen and were lost beneath the others' feet. Spud's hand was still on my shoulder and I felt his grip tighten. I looked up at him. He was staring at something, so I followed his gaze.

"No!" I tried to run forward, but he held me back. "No! Let go! Popi!" He was laying among the others, his face and blonde hair covered in blood. "Lemme go, lemme go!"

"Jus let da bulls an dem handle it. Dey'll take care of 'im." I kept fighting with him until I saw someone stop to help Popi. Then I just froze. I didn't know what else to do. I ran a hand through my hair. "He'll be alright." I looked up and saw the same worry and fear that I felt. Spud wasn't necesarily close to him, but Popi supported him, and had bought lunch for him and the others a few times. I hugged him, fighting back tears.

"Yeh promise?" He looked down at me.

"I can't promise anythin." I knew he wasn't trying to be mean, that was just the truth. I started to cry. "Hey, come on. Why dontcha go upstairs an wait fer yer mudda ta get home?" I shook my head. I was so scared, I wanted to stay right there so I knew what was happening. Spud grabbed me by the shoulders and held me at arms' length. "Dey'll take care of 'im. I'll stay wid yeh until somebody gets home, alright?" I nodded. I wanted to argue, I really did, but I just couldn't find my voice. I let him lead me up the stairs to the third floor. "Yeh gotta help me heah, I dunno where yeh live." I walked to the door numbered 36, but I couldn't go in. My hand just hovered above the doorknob. "Ivan, yer assumin' da worst heah. Fer all we know, he got up and went out ta get a drink as soon as we left." He was pretty tall, but he bent down so he could look me in the eye. "I know I said I couldn't promise yeh anythin, but how bout dis? I can't promise everything'll turn out right, but I can promise I'll always be dere for ya. Deal?" I thought about it, and nodded. He spit in his hand and held it out and I did the same. It was little things like that that comforted me. We went inside and started a game of Go Fish. Spud never just let me win, he said it wasn't good for me, but today he went easy on me. Even so, I lost every time cause I was distracted. In the early afternoon the door opened and Ilya came in. Spud stood and greeted him, as he would any newsie, with a spit-shake.

"Not dat I mind, but why's yeh in my house?" He had picked up on the New York accent a lot. That was the kind of change I constantly fought, stuff like changing your accent. It just made things seem so different.

"Didncha see what happened this mornin?"

"No, I went down to da racetracks early. Some bum gave me a hot tip on da fourth, but it didn't amount ta much."

"Popi wouldn't like it if he found out you were gambling." I think that's when he really realized something was wrong. He was good at reading me, and it wasn't hard then. I was staring off, my face probably still showed where tears had fallen, and I'm pretty sure I sounded like I was in a trance. He looked at me for a second and then turned back to Spud.

"Freeze an Twitch an deir gang got a fella real mad an started a big fight. Yer pop an some othas jumped in to help em. Well, yeh know how in a fight, when everyone clears away, dere are da guys dat fell an couldn't get up." I could tell he was having trouble figuring out a way to say it. "He was one of em. At least, when we saw im he was. We don know what happened to him." Ilya sat down across from me. "Well, I told Ivan I'd stay till someone got home. I gotta go. Lemme know how everythin truns out, alright? An Ivan, remember what I said." How I needed those small comforts. Something as simple as Spud's promise to be there. Ilya didn't know him as well as I did, so the promise wouldn't mean as much to him. Or maybe it wouldn't mean as much to anyone as it did to a scared ten year old. I didn't know what to say. We just sat there in silence until Mama got home, which was quite a long time. When she did come in, her face was tear stained and she was holding her handkercheif. She looked at us for a moment and then started crying. After a second and a few deep breaths she regained herself.

"Boys, do you know what happened to Popi today?" We both nodded. "They took him to the hospital, but-" She started crying again. We didn't need to be told anymore. We knew what happened. He died. Ilya lay his head in his arms. I think he might have been crying, but I couldn't tell. I couldn't stay in the house. I got up and left, but I didn't know where I wanted to go. I knocked on Kolenkhov's door. When he answered, I just stood there. I didn't know what I should do.

"Ivan?" I looked up at him, carefully avoiding his eyes. On his shoulder sat Duchess, the squirrel I had brought to him and he had kept. I couldn't think of one thing to say, so I turned and ran down the stairs and out the door. I didn't know where I wanted to go, so I just ran. I ran until I got to the Brooklyn Bridge, which I wasn't allowed to cross. I went to the side and crawled into a space between the support beams. I hugged my knees and I just cried. I cried so much that when I looked up at the sound of footsteps, I could barely see through my glasses. The only thing that tipped me off was the red hair that was visible because he had removed his hat.

"Yeh ok?" I shook my head. "Mind if I join yeh in heah?" I shook my head again and he sat down next to me. I kept crying and he just sat there. Sometimes you just need to cry, and I'm glad Spud understood that. We sat there for a very long time. Finally, I stopped and looked up at him.

"You're gonna keep your promise, right? No matter what?"

"At's what I said isn't it?" I nodded. "Den a course." I hugged him. "Yeh should prolly be gettin home. Yer mum'll be worried." I got up and followed him back towards my building.

"Spud, what happened to your parents?" He sighed and messed with his hat for a second before putting it back on his head and answering.

"I don know. I woke up one morning when I was six an dey were just gone. Police and dem never found em. I don't mean ta be harsh on yeh, but in a way yer lucky. It's betta ta know what happened, even if it's bad, den ta not know anythin'."

"I'm sorry," I whispered after a second.

"Don worry about it. Second most important thing yeh learn bein a newsie: yeh gotta be tough. What doesn't kill ya makes ya stronga." Curiosity got the better of me.

"What's the first most important thing you learn?"

"Headlines don sell papes, newsies sell papes." I had to smile. We arrived in front of my building a little while later. "Care care of yer mum an Ilya, alright?" I nodded. "See ya wheneva. Carryin da bannah."

"Carrying tha banner." I went upstairs. Mama hugged me as soon as I walked in the door, crying her eyes out. I was sad, but I found I didn't need to cry anymoree. Spud was right. About a lot of things. First off, you had to be tough. Second, I was lucky, and I just couldn't forget that. As Ilya and I lay in our beds that night, unable to sleep, he whispered the last thing I'd ever hear him say to me.

"Ivan?"

"Yeah?" The sky that night was cloudless and full of blinking stars, we could see them through the window. It didn't matter.

"I hope there's a storm tonight."


	3. Chapter 3

Next chapter! this is the next morning, no big time jump this time.

* * *

When I woke up, I started to sit up, but I heard movement and stopped. I lay there and just listened for a little while. When I finally opened my eyes a tiny bit, I saw Ilya walking out with a bag over his shoulder. I heard the front door open and close. I ran into the kitchen and to my surprise, saw him sitting at the table. I decided it was better not to ask. I got some bread and honey and sat down next to him. I offered him some and he took it. We didn't speak at all, or even look at each other, until Mama emerged from her room. Her long, wavy brown hair was tangled, and her face was still tear stained. When she entered, trying to smile, he put his breakfast down and stood. He kissed Mama on the cheek and then, avoiding both our eyes, opened the front door. 

"Ilya?" The only answer was the sound of his footsteps after a second. I jumped up and went out into the hallway. He had his leather bag over his shoulder. "Ilya." My voice was quiet. I might have only been 10, but I wasn't dumb. He was running away. He turned and looked at me for a second. Then he slowly shook his head and continued down the stairs. He was running away! "Mama!" She came out just in time to see him disappear. She ran after him and I followed. When we got down to the street, he was nowhere in sight. He had disappeared into the crowd. I took Mama's hand and we went back upstairs and into number 36. She sat down at the table, but didn't cry like I thought she would. "Aren't we going to look for him?"

"Ivan, sometimes people don't want to be found. Why don't you go and sell papers, alright? We'll talk later, ok? I need to think." I nodded and went into my room and got dressed. I came back into the room and she hadn't moved. She hugged me and I left,a few coins jingling in my pocket. As I closed the door, I knew that now she would cry. Popi was gone, and now Ilya was gone too. I went to the distribution office where only a few newsies remained. I bought my papers from the fat Italian man behind the counter and headed to some of the spots where Spud and I had sold before. I sold out pretty quickly and sat down on a park bench. I just sat there the rest of the day. Well, after awhile I lay down. I don't know what I expected to happen. Maybe I was watching for Ilya. I don't know. As the sun was just starting to set, a shadow fell across me. I looked up and saw Spud standing there. I sat up and he sat next to me.

"What's up kid? Why're yeh out heah?"

"Ilya ran away. This morning." He didn't answer. Spud was good at that. He didn't talk unless something really needed to be said. I buried my face in his arm. "It's not fair!" I wanted to cry, I really really did, but I just couldn't find any tears.

"I know Ivan. Life ain't fair." I looked up at him.

"Do you know where he went?" He sighed.

"Yeah. I saw 'im earlier, headin across da bridge. I didn think anythin of it. He went ta Brooklyn." Brooklyn. There was no chance of getting him back now. The Brooklyn newsies were known to be the toughest around. If Ilya joined them, he'd have no interest in coming back to boring old Manhattan. I pulled my knees to my chest. "Yeh should probably be gettin home, it's gettin dark. Come on." He walked with me back to the building. I walked up the stairs alone. The 3 had fallen off our door again, but I left it there. Mama was sitting exactly where she had sat down that morning. I sat down across from her.

"Baby, you know things got tougher when Popi lost his job?" I nodded. "Everything's going to be even harder now. I don't want you to have to live like that." She reached out and took my hand. "What would you say to this? You go to stay somehwere until I can make everything work. Then I'll come back and get you. Does that sound good?"

"You mean an orphanege?" She nodded, her blue eyes filling with tears. I ran over to her and hugged her. "I understand Mama." She kissed the top of my head and rocked me back and forth on her lap. After a long time, I sort of fell asleep. I say sort of because I was entirely asleep, just not completely awake. Mama carried me into my room. The thing is, after she left, I was wide awake. I couldn't sleep. I sat up and then I couldn't even bring myself to lay back down. Instead, I spent all night playing cards and rereading papers I had kept under my bed. I did everything I could not to look over at Ilya's empty bed. When the sky outside started to get lighter, I put away my game of solitare, took off my glasses, and laid down. I still coudln't fall asleep, so I just laid there. I could hear footsteps above me. The people in number 46 always got up really early. I wondered if the people below us were woken up by our footsteps every morning. I decided that when I came back, I'd be more quiet. After about a hour of thinking about nothing in particular, Mama opened my door.

"Ivan, wake up sweetheart." I rolled over and put my glasses on. "Pack up your things and then we'll have some breakfast, alright?" I nodded and she left. I got up and changed into my grey pants and a blue plaid shirt. I let the suspenders hang down, but made sure I tucked in the shirt and put on my grey vest. Then I pulled my bag out from under my bed and placed it on the floor. I packed all of my clothes, my extra shoes, my hair brush(after using it), and my deck of cards. I was sitting there, staring at my bag, when I heard ticking. I turned towards Ilya's bed. Slowly, I crawled over to it and lifted his pillow. Laying there was a pocket watch. Next to it was a piece of paper. I carefully unfolded it. "For Ivan" was all it said. I took the watch and studied it for a second before putting it on top of the rest of my things and closing the bag. Mama and I had breakfast without speaking. Then I grabbed my bag and we left. I waved to our neighbors as we left. I don't think any of them realized I wasn't coming back for a long time. I was really dissapointed I didn't see Mr. Kolenkhov. We walked for a really long time. My feet hurt when we finally reached the gloomy looking building that was the orphanege. I held on tight to Mama's hand as we entered. An old lady looked up from behind the counter and smiled.

"How can I help you?"

"I called on our building's phone last night." The old lady nodded and motioned to a boy who was walking into the room.

"Jeffery, this is Ivan. After he says good-bye, can you show him to the bunk room?" The boy nodded. I turned to Mama and hugged her.

"Good-bye baby. I'll some and get you as soon as I can, alright?" I nodded. After a long time, she stood up and went with the orphanege lady. The boy named Jeffery picked up my bag.

"Come one Ivan, I'll show you your bed." I followed him into a bunk room where he placed my bag on an empty bed. The only other person there was a girl with short brown hair who looked a little older than mesitting on the bed next to mine. She didn't look up when we came in, just kept staring out the open window. "That's Caroline. She doesn't really talk to anyone. I guess yeh'll wanna stay in hear and unpack a little." I nodded. "If yeh need anything, the name's Snap."

"I thought you were Jeffery."

"I used to be. That's what my parents called me, before they left me. Now only Mrs. Baker says it. Only cause she don't like the nick names. Yeh gonna be ok?" I nodded and he left. I opened my bag and sitting on top was the pocket watch. I picked it up and stared at it for a long time. The more I looked at it, the more I was angry. At all of them. I felt tears running down my face. I closed my hand over the glass face. I could feel the steady ticking against my palm. Tick, tick, tick, tick, its pulse matching mine. My eyes squeezed shut. Tick, tick, tick, tick. How could they have done this to me? I was so mad. Tick, tick, tick, tick. Everything I did was in time with it, just for those few minutes. I tried to hold back the sobs I knew were growing inside me. Tick, tick, tick, tick. I finally couldn't take it anymore. I turned and threw the watch though the open window. Then I collapsed on my bed and cried.

"Did they abandon you?" I looked up and saw the girl called Caroline looking at me. I waited for a second until my breathing was steady again.

"No. My Popi died, and then my brother ran away, and then Mama left me here until she has enough money. But I don't want to be here, I want to go home!" She turned to face me, her legs hanging over the edge of her bed, her feet just above the ground.

"Mine too. My nana lives out west and she got real sick. My parents left me here to go help her. That's why I've never talked to anyone. If I make friends, that's a reason to stay. And if they know I had friends, then maybe they wouldn't come and get me. But it's been so long, and I've been trying to talk to people, but I've kept away from them for so long that now they don't want to talk to me. They think I'm weird."

"How long have you been here?"

"Four years. Spent sitting in here waiting for them to come."

"And you never talked to anyone?" She shook her head.

"Not unless I had to. I just wish they'd talk to me now."

"I'll be your friend." She smiled, just a small, shy smile. I smiled too, a little, wiping tears from my face.

"Since you're my friend, can I ask you something?" I nodded. "Why did you throw that watch out the window?" I could feel tears again. She looked a little bit sorry that she had asked.

"It was my brother's." I started to cry again. "He left it for me and I found it. I'm so mad at him!" I was talking between sobs now. "If he hadn't run away, I'd still be-" The old lady appeared in the doorway.

"Someone's here to see you Ivan." I stood, tears still falling. She motioned into the room and left. Spud stepped in. I ran to him and hugged him. He let me just hug him for awhile before half leading, half carrying me over to my bed and sitting down. I held onto him and just cried and cried. And he let me. He knew when it was best to do that, and I was glad. I sat up after a pretty long time, wiping tears from my cheeks.

"You're still gonna keep your promise, right?"

"As long as I can." He took off his hat and put it on my head. "An if I can't, yeh've always got da newsies." I reached up and touched the grey hat.

"You're not giving this to me, are you?" He ran a hand through his red hair.

"Not unless yeh want it." He was sort of smiling and I smiled back. I took off the hat and looked at it, then back at him.

"Thanks."

"No problem. I gotta go, only had time ta stop in fer a minute. Gotta sell da rest o me papes. I'll come back an see yeh when I get a chance, alright?" I nodded. "See yeh lata den. Carryin da bannah."

"Carryin the banner." He smiled and left.

"Your name's Ivan." I'd forgotten Caroline was there. I'd also forgotten she didn't know my name.

"Yeah, I know." She smiled. "An yours is Caroline."

"Yep. Who was that?"

"Spud. He's my friend." She walked over and sat next to me.

"So am I." She took the hat from my hands and placed it on my head. She couldn't possibly know how much that meant to me. I smiled and hugged her.


	4. Chapter 4

I find I have no comments at all to add here. Shocking, eh?

* * *

"Everyone go to sleep.Now." Mrs. Baker turned off the lights and left, closing the door to the bunk room behind her. Everyone lay perfectly still until her footsteps had faded. Then we all sat up and the room started buzzing. No one ever slept during thunderstorms. The little kids immediatly gathered around a girl named Chatter, who liked to tell stories. A few of the other older kids went with her to help keep the little ones calm and quiet. Snap and a bunch of the older kids started a game of poker. Three girls, known as Stitch, Lacey, and Buttons, met in a corner and started working on their embroidery. They were rarely seen without it. Willow and Shadow pulled out Willow's checker board and started looking for differnt colored objects to use to play with. A number of people gathered around to help and to watch once they started. Somehow, they always managed to make their games entertaining. I straightened my hat, grabbed my deck of cards, and started shuffling. Caroline and Rusty came over and I dealt. Caroline and I had grown to be pretty close. Rusty had short, rust colored hair that he liked to "style" so that it always looked like he just got out of bed. There was a rumble of thunder and Caroline jumped a little. Storms scared her. That's why we had started playing cards. 

Three months ago, I experienced my first storm at the orphanege. Everyone did what they always did. My problem was that I didn't have an "always" yet. So I just sat there and shuffled my cards, which had become a habit. Caroline had come over, eyes wide. I dealt out some cards and as we played, she started to ignore the thunder more and more. So, every time there was a storm, we played cards. Not for money like Snap and them, just for the fun of it. Rusty started playing with us a few storms ago after getting tired of watching Willow and Shadow play checkers. He didn't really talk to us except for those nights. He had other friends that he met up with out on the street.

The storm was getting worse and the normal activities were losing the attention of some people. Chatter had stopped midway through Cinderella because most of the little kids were crying. The sewing circle had stopped because Stitch had jumped at a flash of lightning and pricked herself with her needle and was now crying. Willow and Shadow had stopped their game to search for a missing piece. One of the dark pieces turned out to be a beetle and had crawled away when Willow tried to jump it with a button. With each flash of lightning or rumble of thunder, there came squeals of fright. I tried to block them out. I wanted to hear the storm, and just the storm.

"Ivan!" I snapped back at the sound of Rusty's voice. "It's your turn." I looked down at my cards, but the only thing my mind recognized was the fact that I couldn't hear the rain on the roof over the noise in the room.

"I fold," I muttered, laying my cards down and standing.

"Are you cheating?" Rusty asked, looking from his cards to me, "I think you are. Caroline, make him stop cheating." I walked over to the window, opened it, and climbed out onto the fire escape. I shut the window most of the way and sat down with my back against the building. The only thing between me and the rain was the grey newsies hat Spud had given me. I only took it off on very rare occasions, and this wasn't one of them. I just sat and watched to rain water drip off the brim. I sat out there and watched the lightning dance and listened to the steady pounding of the rain and the wondreful low rumbles of thunder. I sat there and tried to pretend I was sitting in my house, somewhere that seemed very far away now. I had done this a few times before, so they didn't come out after me. No one understood why, but they knew I liked to sit alone in the rain sometimes. They probably thought I was crazy. Whatever the reason, life went on as usual inside. I could hear Chatter starting Cinderella again. It was the part where her fairy godmother came and made everything perfect so that she could go to the ball. Sometimes I wish I had a fairy godmother. Right now all I had was the storm. I hugged my knees to my chest and let the rain and thunder sing out a lullaby. To that I drifted to sleep.

I woke up the next morning and found myself still outside. I opened the window and went back inside as quietly as I could. Everyone else was still asleep. They had all learned to be heavy sleepers, while I was wide awake at the slightest sound. I grabbed some dry clothes and changed. Except the hat. I kept my hat on even though it was still pretty soggy. I sat down and started shuffling my cards. Gran had gotten her wish, I was a morning person. It must have been at least half an hour before anyone else woke up. Willow sat up, trying to tame her auburn hair that was always a mess in the mornings.

"G' mornin," she muttered, yawning.

"Morning." Willow was almost always up shortly after me. Once she'd been awake for about five minutes, she was fairly energetic.

"Wanna play checkers?"she asked after a little while, pulling the board out from under her bed. "I still have the pieces we used last night." I sat down on the floor across from her and we set up the game. It was rather funny to see what they'd collected to play with sometimes. Today there was a good deal of buttons-probably "borrowed" from Lacey's collection-as well as a couple pennies, a nickle, what looked like they may have been pieces of hard bread, and some other things. It was usually best not to ask. Lacey woke up about half way through the game and sat down on Willow's bed. She watched, looking quite amused, as Willow's half marble jumped over a stone, a shoelace tied into endless knots, and one of my buttons. I scratched my head through my still damp hat. I was terrible at this.

"Willow," Lacey said casually, "are those my buttons?" Willow's dark eyes flitted from Lacey, to the checkerboard, to me, and back to Lacey. She didn't say anything for a second. I think I may have been holding my breath.

"What buttons?" was what she finally said. I smacked myself on the forehead and almost laughed. Could she have been anymore obvious? Witha snort, Lacey reached forward and snatched each of the buttons.

"Hey! We're in the middle of a game!"

"I don't care. Everyone knows you're going to lose anyway." I stood and held out a hand.

"Just give 'em back. You can have them as soon as we're done, alright?" She pulled the handful of buttons further away.

"As soon as you're done? No, not alright! They're my buttons, I'm not negotiating anything here!" At the sound of her name being shouted, Buttons sat up a little, looking confused. I drew back a fist and Lacey squealed. "Don't you dare Ivan! You're not allowed to hit me, I'm a lady!"

"No you're not, ladies aren't over protective of their buttons!" Willow said from behind me. It would have been a pretty good argument, but she started giggling after she said it. I had to admit, it did sound pretty funny. A number of the others were sitting up as well. Everyone looked very confused. Lacey charged across the room to where Snap lay, still asleep, with me right behind her. She grabbed a pillow and held it above his face.

"I'll wake him. I swear it, I will. Go ahead, take another step toward me." I backed away with my hands up. Yes, Snap had been nice when I first got here, but I had quickly learned that he and his best friend Ace were in charge and I'd do well not to mess with them. Their advantage was that Mrs. Baker always saw them in their best light and thought they could do no wrong. In reality, they were very close to bullies. Ace was worse, but you didn't want to get on the bad side of either of them. And they were worse in the mornings. They were heavy sleepers and got very mad if woken, especially by a pillow in the face. Lacey dropped the weapon the the floor and strutted back to her bed, where she lovingly replaced the long lost members of her button collection. Those who had been woken, pelted me-the most obvious source of the disruption-with pillows or anything else they could grab.

"Same time tomorrow?" Willow asked sarcastically as I arrived back at my bed. I didn't answer, which was ok because she didn't expect me to. She finished gathering the remaining pieces and put everything back under the bed. "Have you talked to Spud recently? Ihaven't seen him in awhile." Everyone knew Willow had a huge crush on Spud. Whenever he came to visit me, she'd make sure she found a way to talk to him. Personally, I think they'd make a decent couple. He was only about a year older than her.

"I saw him yesterday, just fer a minute. He said he'd try an stop by today or tomorrow." Smiling, she turned to Shadow, who was stretching. Before she'd come here, Shadow had lived on the streets. Just before Mrs. Baker took her in, she stole some food and got into a fight with a policeman. Before she managed to slip away, she fell and was kicked in the left shoulder by his horse. Now she stretches every morning because it gets stiff when she sleeps. Sometimes I see her stretching during the day too, but not too much. I flopped back on my bed and grabbed my deck of cards.

"What was all that about?" Caroline sat next to me and playfully snatched the cards away. "You losers woke me up." I sat up.

"My deepest apologies madame." I took the cards back and Caroline laughed. "Me an Willow were playin checkers an Lacey realized we were usin her buttons so she took em back." She took the cards back, shuffled once, and dealt each of us seven cards. We hadn't even started when Mrs. Baker entered the bunk room. Everyone froze and nervously glanced at each other. She never came in there that early unless she had something important to say.

"Caroline, come with me please." She looked at me, eyes wide. "You may come too Ivan." We stood and followed her, Carolin looking like a convict walking to her execution. She took my hand and held it really tight. We were both expecting the worse. When we got to the lobby, however, her eyes lit up. A man and woman were standing by the desk, siutcases at their side. Caroline gave me a quick hug and ran forward into their waiting arms.

"Mama, Papa!" Her mother wiped tears from her eyes. She wasn't very tall, but she looked just like Carolin. Very slim, with brown hair and sparkling green eyes. The only difference was that her hair was slightly grey and her skin was darker, probably from being out in the western sun. Her father was a very large man with sand colored hair. He kissed the top of Caroline's head and said the words I'd been preparing myself for.

"Ready to go home poppet?"


	5. Chapter 5

sorry its been so long. yeah, thats all i have to say...

* * *

Until the day Caroline left, I never understood how someone could be truely happy and truely sad at the same time. I was so happy that after four long years here, she was going home. But other than Spud, she was my very best friend. We'd always talked about what we'd do when we went home, but it just never seemed real. Sitting alone in the bunk room, I realized how strange it would be when Mama came back for me. I had been living in a world where no one talked about adults except in the middle of the night when dark dreams woke them. Inside the walls of that orphanege, and somehow inside us kids that lived there, there was no need for grown-ups. We had learned to live with only the slight supervision of Mrs. Baker. I realized that even if she did come back, I would be unable to return to my former way of life. I don't even know how to explain it properly, I just couldn't imagine going back. 

That night, for the second time in my life, I lay awake all night. Everyone had been shocked when Caroline left, but no one had been as close to her as I had. I shut my eyes and tried to keep my back to the now empty bed beside me. I lay awake and listened to the quiet breathing that filled the room. Caroline's gentle snoring wasn't there, and the room sounded empty. I just lay there until, in the middle of the night, I made my descision. When we went outside the next day, I just wouldn't come back. The only problem was that I couldn't take all of my things. Only what I could carry without looking suspicious.

I took special care when choosing what to wear that morning. Grey pants that were a bit too big still, a tan shirt that I had to roll the sleeves up on otherwise they covered my hands, my vest, and of course, my hat. Before anyone woke up, I went under Willow's bed and took the nickel and four pennies she had for checkers. I felt bad about it as I placed them carefully in my pocket, but I only had twelve cents myself and had a feeling I would need everything I could get. Finally, I placed my deck of well worn cards in my pocket. Then I took them out again and sat there shuffling until everyone woke up. I watched Willow as she slept and wondered where she had gotten the money from in the first place. As she rolled over, I realized I would probably never see her again. I would never see any of these people again. I looked slowly around the room, knowing that there were faces that would be in my memory forever, and those that would be in my heart forever. Willow and I had never been close, but there was something about her. She was just always so nice and so open to everyone. The very next bed over was Shadow's.

Shadow was a fascinating person. Almost everyone woke in the night from nightmares. Some people were afraid of the dark, some of thestorms, but I had only once seen Shadow afraid. We were in the park and there was this horse standing there, we think it was a police man's but we weren't sure. Anyways, someone dared Shadow to ride it. Shadow never turned down a dare. But she was afraid of horses, and with good reason. But she went. It was right before she turned towards it that I saw something I had never seen before and have never seen since in her eyes. Fear. But she walked up to the horse, laid a hand on its shoulder, and got on. Not only did she walk around the park, she gave the horse's sides a kick and had a few good seconds of galloping. That's the image of her that has always been strongest in my memory. The one of her on that horse, smiling.

I turned away from my friends and looked down at my cards. When I first bought them with five cents I had earned and saved all by myself, they were stiff, shiny, and smelled like a printing press and ink. I'd had them for ten months now and they were very different. They were worn and flexible and the numbers were faded. They bent in my hands in whatever way I wanted them to. When I shuffled them, they matched the curve of my hand perfectly. They were like Spud's cards. They were a deck of cards that if you held them for too long, your fingers would be slightly blue from the back of them. I couldn't have loved them more.

Everyone slowly woke and uneventfully made their way outside. Conversation was casual, everyone seemed to be avoiding the topic of Carolin. Talk of skipping stones and trading marbles, Willow gossiping with some others about Spud. I'd completely forgotten that he was coming to see me today. I couldn't talk to him, not with my plan of running away. As luck would have it, Spud walked up as I was realizing this. I ducked behind a cart.

"Hi Spud!" Willow's giggly friends scatteredas she went over to see him.

"Heya. Have yeh seen Ivan? I told him I was gonna stop by today."

"No, not since we were in the bunk room, but listen. You know Caroline, right?" He nodded. "Well, her parents showed up yesterday an took her home."

"Dat's great."

"Yeah, it's wonderful. But she an Ivan were real close and he seemed upset. Yeh might wanna talk to him about it."

"Alright, I will, thanks. I'll talk ta yeh lata, ok?" Willow nodded and Spud set off to look for me. I really didn't want him to worry, but he'd try to get me to stay if I talked to him. Once he was out of sight, I set off to find a new orphanege. My stomach rumbled as I walked through the crowded street and I remembered that I hadn't eaten breakfast that morning. I stopped at a restraunt and bought a sandwich. I had sixteen cents left now. I considered going and buying papers, but I didn't know any of the newsies in this area, or even where the distribution office was. So, for the entire day, I just wandered around looking for somewhere to stay.

The sun was setting and I still hadn't found an orphanege. I gripped the half a sandwich that was still in my hand a little tighter as a chilly wind past me. In the growing darkness, I walked down an alley and saw a strange shape. Slowly, I inched closer and poked it with my foot. It didn't move, so I bent down and looked closer. It was a blanket. Someone must have slept here and left it. The thought never occured to me that they might come back. I sat down and examined the blanket as closely as I could. It was blue wool, worn thin in some spots. I glanced up at the sky. It was very dark. I took off my hat, placed the half sandwich, my cards, and my glasses in it, and lay down. I placed the hat and its contect right next to me so that the blanket covered it, just in case it rained or something. The grungy smell of the alley and the soft sounds of people and horses in the street lulled me to sleep. My first night on the streets.


End file.
